Rumors Restaurant, Toledo OH

Rumors Restaurant is a restaurant that I’ve seen often on Monroe street, but never been. In fact, I’ve thought the place has been closed for all these years. So, one Friday afternoon when the Tropics was renovating their kitchen, and it seemed as though Big’z was closed, we decided to try something new: Rumors.

Rumors boasts itself as Mediterranean-American food. First glance at the menu gives all the typical staples: Gyros, kabobs, salads a plenty and even breakfast all day. Here’s the thing about Mediterranean/Lebanese food, you gotta do it right. There are places like the Beirut, Shai, Manos, the Grapeleaf Diner, and Al Saher’s Diner just to name a few (a few really good Mediterranean places).

Having said that, with the myriad of ethnic restaurants in this city, you need to at least do your own thing right. So, on this visit, I went for the classic Gyro, along with Greek salad, and fries.

The salad comes out in what can only be described as a plastic hot pepper “bowl”.

The salad is the standard feta, herbs, and tomatoes on iceberg lettuce. If you’ll notice here, the iceberg is white; that’s not the camera’s fault. The lettuce I got was the core: bland and gross. The herbs were overpowering. All of this completely stacked to the brim of this novelty bowl such that I can’t even stir the salad to distribute the dressing. All in all, it was an epic FAILURE of a salad. At least the pepperochinis were good.

The gyro is a Greek standard. Thinly sliced grilled lamb and beef served with a delicious tzatziki sauce, all wrapped in a warm, soft pita wrap. My gyro:

My gyro came in a pita pocket. The pita pocket is a disgrace to Greek people. Why not just wrap it in a regular pita wrap. Keeping on the wrap, it was the toughest, chewiest thing I’ve ever tried to eat. The lamb was very thick cut, was decent. The main problem though was the sauce. Rather than delicious cooling tzatziki, what I got was basically sour cream, and plenty of it.

It was awful. That’s it, I won’t waste my time on this bullshit.

The fries: completely saturated with oil, and some of the most bland, greasiest fries I’ve ever had. It was the worst lunch I’ve had in a long time.

That’s all I’m saying, it’s not worth it.

p.s. All dishes are served in the hilarious chili pepper bowls. WTF mate???

Random Post

I’m sitting here 1/8 way through the second consecutive power hour, but spell check is a mother fucker isn’t it? The first random thought is how Sixx:AM’s “Life is Beautiful” can be so good when the rest of the album is so marginal.

One minute later I’m thinking about how much Nanci Pelosi is a fucking cunt bag AND how sweet Whitesnake is. Ah, the graces of a power hour. But in all seriousness, what happened to democracy? Undead is a decent song. I mean, 60% of the people in this country are against health care reform as Congress has it, but that fucking cunt (hi Mom!) and that fucking n….nevermind still tries to push it though.

Why? I mean, people voted for change, and whether or not you think that there can…..awww shit I fucking LOVE Rosa Parks by Outkast.

That did it. Now I’m sassy.

To people who vote for democrats:

Do you really think they know what its like to live like you? Do you really think that these people who were born silver spoon in mouth know whats its like to have to “really” work. Seriously braugh? You think these people making HUNDREDS of thousands of….10 Years is awesome, they needs an all-new album…dollars know what its like to be you.

Fuck them. They have no idea. Their only job in their life is to tell you fools what you want to hear so they can get re-elected and continue making HUNDREDS of thousands of dollars a year.

If you’re over 40, congratulations, you’ll only get a few years of this bullshit. For me, I’m going to be paying out of my chaffed ass for my entire life because we had to drop a (insert TARP money here) for what? What experts have said haven’t improved the situation much? Oh but that fucking…has said, well we’d be MORE worse off, had we not done that.

I can’t do ti anymore. I now find myself either taking shots or correcting typos 80% of the time. Holy shit that whore is on TV!!!!! Oh, it’s a Haiti commercial. She’s hideous. They should get someone who I can tolerate looking at to do those.

OK for sho. I need to finish this second power hour.

I tried to fuck your mom in the ass

I tried to fuck your dad in the ass

I tried your dog in the ass

…

That was no pirate man, that I was my own seester….It was a mexican pirate?

Review of Radio Shack – Set of 100 Disc Capacitors

So im working on another guitar project and I head to The Shack to get some parts and switches and bitches.  I come across the set of 100 ceramic disc capacitors and I was like “sweet, 100 capacitors for 4.99″.  They are not really labeled well, so of course I have to get a mulimeter to read all the values…and what do i find?  All values are in the pF range.  WTF???  I need them to be in the uF range.  I mean have you ever heard a guitar tone with a .0047pf capacitor?  Well I have.  It sounds like a dead whore.

Cons: Shitty selection, Very tiny values

Best Uses:  target practice

Describe Yourself: Casual User

Primary use: Personal

Bottom Line: No, I would not recommend this to a friend

Comments about RadioShack Set of 100 Disc Capacitors:

(number of pcs, value)
1, 103
4, 561 1kv
1, 561
7, 221
5, 151
5, 68
2, 15
61, 10 (61 pcs? really???)
5, 7
10, 1

Bottom Line: Just a bunch of 10pf. Where the hell do you use 10pf?
For those of you who didn’t count, that’s 101 worthless pieces. i was unable to use any of them. if all 101 capacitors were connected in parallel they would have a grand total capacitance of .016115 uf.

EPIC FAIL!

Al Saher’s Diner – Toledo OH

Al Saher’s Diner located on McCord Rd is easy to miss. Tucked away in a small plaza across from Wal-Mart, the place simply screams great local place to get food. Anytime I try a Lebanese/Mediterranean place it seems I force myself to have the Gyro. It’s a bellwether, like a burger at a sports bar. If it does it great, I’ll come back.

I ordered the lunch Gyro platter (was told explicitly by my companions not to attempt the dinner portion) along with the house tea which I was told is a must. The tea was absolutely spectacular. The owner brews it with his special blend of spices into an incredible hot sweet tea. I won’t try to describe it, just get it.

The lunch platter comes with two sides, and salad is an option shown here.

The salad was good, not spectacular. It came with cucumbers, tomatoes and radishes were a pleasant surprise. The dressing was flavorful and the lettuce still had crunch, although was chopped so small it make eating difficult.

The main dishes did not disappoint, and I was right to just get the lunch portion, which only set me back like $7. In fact everything on the menu was very reasonably priced, especially considering lunch portions will give you leftovers. The Gyro was….well:

amazing. The lamb meat was  tender and flavorful. The house tzatziki sauce was well balanced; I might have liked even a little more on the sandwich. The herbage was standard gyro fare, but the pita wrap was superb. I’ve had many gyros where the wrap is a little too tough. It takes away from the tenderness of the meat and ruins any concept of texture. This wrap was traditionally thin, and while tough enough not to rip at the seams, was soft enough to easily tear when I wanted it to. The fries were actually stellar as well. They seemed to have a slight batter on them, ala Rallys.

The other two dishes I tasted were just as good:

Adam got the Shish Kabob, and Brittany the Chicken Schwarma (if I remember correctly). The beef was a little tough, although Adam says it’s typically more tender. The chicken was grilled to perfection with just the right amount of char on the outside. The marinade was spectacular.

Both dishes are served with rice, which is good but not memorable. Memorable though is the hummus. I am not typically a hummus lover, but Al Saher’s is velvety smooth and one of, if not the best I’ve had. Complimentary pita bread makes this side dish a home run.

There’s not much bad to say about Al Saher’s. It’s not a place that you’ll impress a first date, but it is a place you go to every week and not get tired of it. The prices are favorable enough to go even more often though. I for one hope it stays tucked away so people like you don’t crowd it up.

Good eating,

What Happens When…

you cross an over-weight african american man and a valencia orange. This:

You Know What Grinds My Gears?

When you fail to allocate enough toilet paper for a proper wipe, only to find that rather than the paper, you just wiped your ass with your hand.

Say No to N.O.-Xplode

OK, so I gave N.O.-Xplode another shot this morning. If you recall from last time, I probably took more than I should have, and ended up with fairly explosive diarrhea. So, this morning, I cracked open the second of my trial pouches, and only mixed up half. The fruit punch was a lot better than the crazy green kind I had earlier, so if you’re interested in taste, go with that.

Now the package says that when you start taking it, start with 1/2 pack to see how your “body reacts”. Move up from there. So, I thought that I was in the clear following the instructions. I was wrong. As before, I did immediately get a bit of an energy boost. I felt good, energized and ready to run. By the time I hit the treadmill, I was gassy, but I trucked on.

I didn’t feel quite as good this time, probably because of the only 1/2 dose. The first mile felt great and 1.5 easily went by. At two…uh oh. I kind of gotta poop. At 2.5, this workout is over.

As before, the shit was long and thorough. In fact, the intermediate flush almost go down (this is an industrial 2 g/flush toilet we’re talking about here too). So, I mean, there’s no need to ramble on. From what I’ve heard from a buddy, the explosive mud butt will last about 3 weeks while your body acclimates itself to the product. I just don’t have that kind of time.

If you are in the need of a good workout booster and can afford an hour to drink the shake and then blast your colon, then by all means this is for you. Fucking Christ though.

N.O.-Xplode – First Time Review

So, my mother has a funny habit about giving away free samples as gifts. This Christmas, I was lucky enough to find myself 2 sample packs of BSN N.O.-Xplode. This particular product has many fans around the world, and I personally know a couple people who swear by it.

Having said this, I was excited to give it a try. The directions say to take on an empty stomach, so this (Tuesday) morning was the perfect time to give it a try. The package says to take 1/2 package mixed with water, wait to see how your body responds, and if it’s cool, take the other half. So I mixed the whole package in the recommended 20 oz of water and off I go.

The taste isn’t bad. It’s certainly not as bad as many protein shakes I’ve had. It has a little bit of bite to it, but otherwise not horrible. One problem I had was the simple amount of water that was needed to take the whole package. I was going to run, and have just drank two pints of water made the first few minutes quite uneasy.

So, 15 minutes after taking I could immediately start feeling the effects. I was not necessarily focused, but I felt jittery and wide awake. Normally I’m a mile or so into the run before I finally start to wake up, but I would start this run ready to go.

The next thing I noticed was 1/2 mile in. I was sweating. I’m normally 3/4 or a whole mile in before I start getting into a good sweat, I was already dripping pretty good. Stamina wise I felt great, aside from all the water sloshing in my stomach.

I would run pretty hard to about 2.5 miles at which point I wanted to take a minute walk. It did really seem as though my will broke before my legs did. I checked my pulse and…..146 bpm. What the fuck, mate? That’s really high for me; I typically struggle to get it over 140, even when doing sprint-walks.

At 2.6 mi, I started again and finished through to a 5K. My time was about 2 minutes slower than my mid-summer race time, which is pretty fucking good for a winter-time treadmill run. I’m sure that the supplement helped me with my time.

Still feeling good, I upped the incline and sprinted until failure (OK actually until I knocked my iPOD off the treadmill). The pulse: 146 bpm. That’s high braugh. Immediately I notice how incredibly sweaty and hot I am. I’m like really damn hot. My arms honestly feel like their sunburnt I’m so hot.

I get in the shower and crank that bitch to cold. I sit in there for 15 minutes. Under COLD water. I get out; I’m still sweating. I take my sweet ass time getting dressed; I’m still sweating. I only put a t-shirt on, get into my car and drive home….with the windows down; I’m still sweating. I take the trash out (still only in t-shirt); I’m still sweating. I go back inside and eat shirtless; I’m still sweating.

About 7:30 it’s time to go to work. *GRUMBLE* Oh god, what was that? *GRUMBLE* I gotta deuce it, but I like to get to work before I do. If I’m going to spend time wrecking a toilet in the morning, I’m doing it on the tax-payer dollar. *GRUMBLE* I can’t make it.

I proceed to absolutely destroy our upstairs bathroom in a smooth, continuous, liquidy, ochre-brown colored abomination. Now I don’t feel great…and I’m freezing!

So, at 7:50 I take off to work and show up late, at which time. Back to the bathroom. Let’s just say the post-workout diarrhea was pretty fucking epic. In fact, I didn’t feel OK until the afternoon. Next time, I should just take 1/2 packet. I would hit a good wall in the afternoon, and had I already not had the runny-bottoms, a cup of coffee would have brightened me back up.

In summary, N.O.-Xplode was definitely helpful in the morning. It woke me up almost instantly and kept me chugging through my workout. My morning workouts are normally lame, but I pushed through and ended up getting a solid run in. After that, the mud-butt was unbearable though. Perhaps taking just 1/2 package will help; that I’ll find out tomorrow.

Fifi’s Restaurant and Lounge – Toledo, OH

Fifi’s Restaurant is supposedly one of the only 5-star restaurants in Toledo. It has the reputation of being one of the nicest establishments in town. So, on my first visit there, I had nothing but extremely high hopes.

My friend Adam made dinner reservations for New Year’s Eve. Many of the nicer places around will do a limited menu for special occasions like this. This let’s the cooks prepare all of their mise en place, expediting the actual service. With fewer items to prepare, quality can maintain itself at a premium, while keeping turnover decent on such a busy night.

So, Adam called around and the usuals (Mancys, etc) were doing a limited menu. He wanted the full menu and when making reservations with Fifi’s, they made no mention of the limited menu. Upon arrival, it was $65/plate, and of course a limited menu.

Now, I have no problem with paying a premium for great food. The problem that I have is when a restaurant thinks that by simply charging more for food, it makes it better. We decided to stay and see how it would be.

Our first course was oysters. One of us had oysters Rockefeller, which were pretty good. The rest craved raw oysters on the half-shell though. What a disappointment. The oysters arrived with the ice completely melted. The ice serves two distinct and important purposes. The first is to keep them cold. With no ice, how could we really be sure that the oysters were fresh and chilled? Secondly, the ice keeps the oysters level, keeping the delicious oyster liquor in place. With melted ice, the oysters tilted, spilling all the precious juice into the water. Next, they were cleaned horribly. Lots of sand, and LOTS of shell. Lastly, they were served only with cocktail sauce, no what I think of a necessary Mignonette sauce.

The second course was salads. Here Fifi’s really did succeed. The caesar salad had bright crisp pieces of Romaine, with a fresh-tasting dressing, and croutons to die for. The house salad featured a thousand-island-type dressing, on a bed of delicious microgreens.

The third course was simply a palette cleaner. It was a complete disaster. Sorbet, that’s it. How can you mess up perfectly good sorbet? Serve it half-melted. That’s how, enough said.

The main courses we sampled included Fillet and Lobster Cake, Duck Napoleon, and Lamb Chops. Each dish was served with vegetables and a potato. My fillet came medium-rare just as ordered, but felt as if it had sat for a while. In fact, the only hot thing on the plate was the lobster cake, which was pretty good, although I would have liked a Remoulade or other appropriate sauce. Either way the fillet was seasoned well, fork-tender and delicious.

The duck was simply an interpretation of a wellington dish, where meat and puff pastry are the stars. The dish was good, although the duck seemed a bit lost in the mix. Adam said not even to try the lamb chops. He said they were dreadfully boring and lacked a little thing called taste.

All in all, we honestly felt like we were getting slightly upscale banquet food; the stuff you get at weddings. For $65, I would have expected much better. Will I be returning? Chances are not. Adam says the regular menu is much better and they’ve had nothing but great experiences there, but this last visit just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Global Warming

I have no doubt that global — that a trend of global warming exists. I am not sure that it is fair to say that it is a problem we must wrestle with. To assume that it is a problem is to assume that the state of Earth’s climate today is the optimal climate, the best climate that we could have or ever have had and that we need to take steps to make sure that it doesn’t change.

First of all, I don’t think it’s within the power of human beings to assure that the climate does not change, as millions of years of history have shown, and second of all, I guess I would ask which human beings – where and when – are to be accorded the privilege of deciding that this particular climate that we have right here today, right now is the best climate for all other human beings. I think that’s a rather arrogant position for people to take.”

-Michael D. Griffin – Former Administrator of NASA

It’s a good point.