Kid Nation – A Must Watch

…for people who hate chilren.

This television program premieres this Wednesday I think (9/19). The basis of the show, is that CBS is going to leave 40 children (ages 8-15) alone in some deserted mining town for the summer. Some call it a “social experiment”, some call it quality entertainment, and others call it “child endangerment.”

The funny thing is that the parents who wanted their child to be given the limelight for a few weeks were forced to sign a 22-page release form saying the network wasn’t responsible

…if the kids got injured, suffered emotional or physical ailments, contracted HIV, got pregnant or even died.

…according to The New York Times.

Ya know, does this show not sound a little familiar? Sounds like fucking every damn summer when I was a kid. You ask some kids to haul some firewood and water around or they don’t drink, and all of a sudden it’s a big deal. Sure, the kids “worked” for 14 hours a day. Remember the good ol’ days when you went out to play during the summer. You woke up, your parents said, “Get the fuck outta the house and don’t come back ’til dark.” Like you wanted to be home anyways.

We had a big ass fort, with workers and everything. I was in charge of protection. That meant making baller bows and arrows and spears and shit. It also meant booby trapping the place in case we got raided by the fort of people to the west, that we never found, but knew was there.

It became home. Like the real-world, bad shit happened. My buddy Ricky accidentally tripped a trap I set once and it cut his foot off. Was that a problem? Did his parents sue? It was certainly a different time then. Hell, Ricky didn’t even care, cause he did (you know, make sexy time) Mary once, knocked her up, and caught her HIV. You might ask where Mary caught the HIV from. Well, we all knew it was the assbags from the west.

Seriously though, have producers lost their minds? When was this ever a good idea?

“Ya know what we’ve done too much of Bob?”

“What’s that Frank?”

“People with rights.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why don’t we exploit people with fewer rights than actual adults.”

“Frank, you’re a genius, we’ll call it, ‘Big Retarded Brother.’”

“Bob, I was thinking children, although we’ll know what to follow it up with. Think of it, we’ll get children together, we’ll leave them alone the middle of the fucking desert. They don’t know how to cook, so we’ll make them cook. The older ones will bully the younger ones. Hell, girls have sex by 15 now a days don’t they? Better put a pregnant clause into the waiver. Jeez, why don’t we put one HIV-infected child in there too, just to make things interesting.”

“Better put the HIV thing in the waiver too.”

“God bless release forms, bwuahahah.”

“Hey, what do you say we go down to cafeteria and have some stem-cell omlettes?”

“Meet you down there in 20, I have a dead stripper in my office I need to take care of.”