What’s Up With….

Ya ever notice when a talk show host is interviewing someone. Then they go to break, and they always lean over to talk to them. What’s up with that. they know that we can’t hear them. I have one of two possibilities. Either they are taunting us, in which case, fuck you Conan, Jay, Dave, John, Steven, that old guy from MTV, that British guy, fuck you guys. The other possibility is that the shit they are talking about is so nasty and raunchy, that they want to make sure that even the audience doesn’t hear.

Either way, fuck you guys. If you have something to say, say it on the air…assholes.

Perpetuating Racism

Seriously, this is hung up in my educational institution. Before I get mail bombs, just let it be known that I have no qualms with black people, and I love to see them succeed, just as anyone else. But do we insist on discriminating between white and black accomplishments?

Instead of focusing so much attention on the things that black people have done, why not focus on the fact that we are equal, and can all honor any accomplishment from anyone of any color.

I realize the point of this poster. A black person is supposed to see it and think, “Hey I’m black, but so are all these people. Maybe I have a chance to do great someday too.” That’s the problem. This type of behavior is just a bandage covering up the fact that we are still trying to separate people. This is nothing but an inspirational poster made by someone who thinks they need it. Well I don’t think they need it. I think they all have the potential to be great people without it.

It’s this type of propaganda that perpetuates the black kid from needing these kinds of posters.

Another One Bites the Dust

Josh Peeno is engaged.

Goodbye ol’ friend, it’s been great.

More Friday Night Lacerations

Well, it’s 1am Sunday morning, and I think I’m finally feeling good from Friday night. Whew… So the day started early for me, with beers and football at noon. I was down tailgating for the UT vs BGSU game, which ended very badly. Anyways, so Joe calls says that we’re drinking later.

So, a little nap later, we’re ready to start. Joe comes over with his room mate and her boyfriend [awkward details omitted]. So Joe and I start the night off the only way we know how, with a power hour. Of course we finish about 10 minutes early, and decide to go up to Frogtown Johnnies.

It was packed as shit inside there, that place must have recently become the bar to go. As we finish our first beer, we find out that our good buddy, Buddy is in town from Iowa, and is coming out with us with Nadine [awkward details omitted].

So, we meet up, and the 6 of us pile into the Concorde and head to the Triple Crown. Shots flew like the salmon of Capistrano. Nadine and myself won a game of shuffleboard due largely to a 7 point round by her. So Joe’s room mate and her boyfriend took a separate cab ride home, and we left around 2:30? By the way, a cab ride for a block costs around $3.80.

Anyways, so we get back home, and surprise surprise, shots and beers flowing like water. Buddy and I were jamming the fuck out while Joe and Nadine were chilling in the living room. Then Buddy has the GREAT idea to do another power hour. Fuck. About 2 beers into it, I purged. Sure I came back for a couple more beers, but damn.

So Joe gets a call [awkward details omitted].

So we wake up the next day, get some delicious Charlie’s breakfast and I take Buddy and Nadine back home.

The details omitted are to protect the innocent. Names and places may have been changed…but probably not.

Setting the Bar High

Power Hour…the very two words invoke fear and loathing into the hearts of many. However, to myself and my friend Joe, these words mean the only way to start a night off right. We are Power Hour Professionals.

What is a Power Hour you ask? Well, it is where you drink a shot of beer every minute for an hour. If your shots are 1oz, this comes out to 5 beers in an hour. What makes us professionals? Well, we’ve done three consecutive Power Hours…6 beers each. We usually finish early, but this glorious day, we decided to keep going. 18 beers and 3 hours later, I had another notch in my bedpost.

But we’ve set a new goal, our Everest.

10 Beer Power Hour

That is 2 shots of beer every minute. 10 beers in a single hour; it’s going to be quite a task. However, we have already started working towards it. Last night, we successfully completed a 7 beer Power Hour. 7 beers in a single hour is no small task for most of your rookies, however we finished unblemished (and a few minutes early I think). However, adding another 3 beers to this will be no small task.

If anyone has any tips for our monumental task, help is appreciated. Do we go a double shot every minute, or a single shot every 30 sec? These are important questions that need be addressed.

We will keep you posted.

Did You Have a Good Night Last Night?

We know the classical results of a good night: hangover, missing wallet, strange person in bed, but many of us fail to realize that there is another novel approach to realize what the shit happened just a few hours ago.I speak of course, why is that in the fridge?

How many times have we woken up, stumbled to the fridge for a drink of milk, and realized that for some reason there’s a broken Coleman outdoor chair sitting next to your leftovers? If I only had a nickel… Here are some common items found in the chill-chest the next day, and possible ways to interpret them.

1. Opened Beer – You planned on drinking that, you did. However, before you jumped off the roof, in your divine wisdom, you wanted to keep it cold while it waited.
2. Glass of Ice – This one is tricky. I myself have a glass of ice in my fridge right now. I won’t remove it until I know what’s it for. I would just see if it melts on the first day, if so, plan for rain.
3. Opened Can of Spaghetti-Os – We’ve seen this one all too many times. You were having a great time, wanted a bite, but passed out making it. Someone else was kind enough to keep it cool while it waited.
4. Pot of Spaghetti-Os – Well, you got the scetti-os to the pot, but couldn’t close the deal. Someone figured you’d like them in the morning, but didn’t know where your Tupperware was.
5. Taco-Bell Leftovers – Much different that the last. Normally, any TBell get’s eaten right away. You must have been having such a good time, you didn’t realize how much shitty food you could get for $10.
6. Finger – One of the epitomes of good times. Someone got a finger severed, but didn’t want to ruin the party. Someone in their divine wisdom figured it’d be good the next day if it was in the fridge.
7. Nothing – You went out and forgot to lock the door.

Anyone Who Says

I once wanted to kill the most beautful man in the world… and then i realized, suicide is a sin.

Is a fucking idiot.

Shitfest Update

Who is this!?!?!?

this is just some random picture I found on my cell phone from the Buddy B Wedding Shitfest. I have no idea who it is. I’m not sure if this is still at the wedding reception, or at the hotel later. I’m fairly sure that I passed out immediately upon arriving back at the hotel, so to me, I think whoever, is completely passed out on a table at the reception.

I don’t know, I hope someone knows

It’s a Fucking Game

Seriously, why the hell are people so pissy about a video game. I’m of course talking about Manhunt 2. Not only has entire countries banned the game, but certain retailers have banned the game here in the states. The game already has a mature rating on it, so let the “mature” people play it and quit fucking whining, because I’m tired of reading about it.

The problem is that parents say that it can lead to violent behavior in children. Here it comes, which is my last and final thought on this waste of newspaper:

Parents: If your child is learning moral values and behavior from ANY video game, you shouldn’t fucking have kids.

That’s it. Bring your kids up with any kind of quality, and they should know that it’s just a game.

By the way if you’re interested it was Target that just recently dropped the game. It turns out, that if you hack the game, you can bring previously “deleted’ content back. I just know that my irresponsible ass is going to buy my 1st grade child the game, which he will hack to bring out content.

Even better, there’s this assclown Jack Thompson (fuck I thought I was done). He protested Wendy’s (yea the burger place) from releasing toys of Nintendo’s ExciteTruck, Wii Sports, and Super Mario Galaxy because:

“Dave Thomas never would have tolerated the use of Wendy’s good name to promote Nintendo’s Wii, not with this game available on the Wii platform.”

What a fuck-stick.

Joe You Fucking Tomcat