Quote of the Day

Office Secretary: No, I like the Patriots

Myself: Wait, I thought you said you didn’t like Tom Brady.

Office Secretary: Well, I really like the Patriots, I just hate Tom Brady.

Myself: What?!? That’s like enjoying a Christian lifestyle, but not really liking that Jesus guy.

Yes, I will quote myself on occasion; when I find the particular saying that profound.

Movie Review – Resident Evil: Extinction

Starring:
Milla Jovovich

Runtime: 95 min.

Overall: B-

This is the third (and final?) installment of the popular Resident Evil trilogy. Obviously the book is loosely based on the popular video game of the same name. Now down to business.

Let’s Review. The first Resident Evil was about the T-virus getting loose inside an underground secret facility. They go in and try and stop the virus from spreading. In the second, they re-open the Hive and the virus gets out into Raccoon City. They contain the virus and set loose that crazy thing to try and kill everything inside.

The title of the third essentially gives it away, they fail to contain the virus. It has spread all over the world, and has basically turned Earth into a barren wasteland…filled with zombies of course.

The second film was kinda weird and wasn’t the best, but the first was a pretty good action flick, so expectations were high for their last chance.

The movie follows Alice (Milla) as she roams the country. She says basically you can’t stay in one place, or they kill you. So, as she’s roaming, she finds a notebook that says, “Go to Alaska.” As luck would have it, she then runs into her old friends who saved her from the last movie. We find out later that she left them after the last movie, because she knows that Umbrella was watching, and didn’t want to put them in harms way.

As she finds them, we see that Alice has developed some nuts crazy, X-Men-like telekinetic powers. Apparently, if you use enough alpha and beta brain waves, you can pretty much do whatever you want. So, she saves them, and then they have this great plan to steal a helicopter, then Alice goes down inside the North American Rainbow hive.

Then shit gets kind of crazy. You see, the main scientist gets infected while trying to recapture Alice. Then he shoots himself full of like a gallon of anti-virus, which turns him into this crazy-mutated thing. He can shoot…well you just have to see. So, they duke it out, of course Alice wins.

Concurrently (word of the day), we see that all along they’ve been cloning Alice, trying to make the “perfect human.” So, Alice wakes up all of her sisters (?) and they go to Japan to kill all of them.

That’s pretty much the just of it. It didn’t seem like a whole lot happened during the movie. The scenes from Vegas were pretty sweet, but entirely not realistic (I WAS JUST THERE BITCHEZ!). They only included like 5 or 6 buildings which you could see the tops of. The entire strip is skyscrapers, you would have been able to see like the tops of 20 buildings. Plus there was huge buildings off of the strip, where were those?

Also, there is a scene were Umbrella puts a shipping container in the way of the convoy. It’s your normal sized, probably half the size of a semi-truck trailer, container. All of a sudden, like fucking 5,000 zombies come running out. Well, actually it only shows like 15 coming out, but they kill no less than the entire population of L.A….I was just at a loss.

That aside, the action was top notch as usual. Hot chicks beating ass and killing zombies is always a plus. However, do not expect to see a well thought, developed plot line. Much of this movie leads the reader to determine his own thoughts on the background, and the future of Umbrella. By the end of the movie, Alice knows that the cure to the T-virus lies in her blood.

To be honest, even though this was supposed to be the last movie, there almost needs to be another. Resident Evil: New Beginnings. I’m sure the people in charge of their artistic freedom don’t want to “ruin” the trilogy with a forced final installment. However, you can bet that after an opening weekend of over $23 million, there will be a final chapter to the story.

Anyways, this is NOT a much see. I would recommend this to anyone who has some free time, and hasn’t watched any of the other fantastic movies that are out right now.