Mother Fucking Pickle Wraps

If you don’t know me, you know that I can cook up some bomb-diggity shit. So, I’ve decided to grace you all with some of my secrets. We’ll start slow with a super easy, super quick appetizer that you might just eat as a meal.

Ingredients:

about a jar of pickles
about a package of ham
about a small container of cream cheese
paper towels

OK, get any dill pickles you want, so help me God if you get sweet. Get the cheap-ass square ham stuff. I prefer the regular cooked, in water. Get whatever cream cheese you want (lite, fat-free, whatever). Now, here’s the setup you want.

Now, there’s some important shit going on here. You must dry the pickles and ham before rolling. Otherwise the water will not let it stick. Now, spread the cream cheese on as shown:

Put the pickle on one edge, and carefully, and TIGHTLY roll it up until:

Now just cut them, and you have white-trash sushi! I prefer to cut them into thirds. If you cut into fourths, you’ll find that since the edge of the pickle tapers in, the roll doesn’t stay together as well. Enjoy.