Ace and Dutch – Episode 3

The party keeps going in this third installment, however, some unexpected guests arrive.

As always, click the logo to see the goods.

Buddy B Style Baby Back Ribs

I know the pics look like crap here. Please click to enlarge

I know you’re all dying to hear about the arrest, but I’m not going to give it to you yet. Instead, I’m giving away a perfected recipe originally learned by our ol’ pal Buddy B. Ribs have this stigma that they’re hard to cook. Unless you’re black or from the south, you can’t cook good ribs. Well it shouldn’t be that way. I’ve learned a way that ANYONE can do. I can’t take credit for the technique, but I have done my homework, worked it over, and have came out with some of the best ribs north of the Mason Dixon.

Ingredients:

• 2 racks Baby Back ribs
• spices (lots of them)
• 2-2L Gingerale (I use Vernors)
• BBQ sass
• 1 medium onion

I’m starting with 2 racks of baby back ribs. Before we even think about a rub, we must take care of the back membrane. In the picture below, you will see a horizontal cut along the length of the ribs. This is the butcher removing the membrane. This membrane is EXTREMELY tough, and unless removed, will make for some pretty crappy ribs. If it’s on, be sure to get a sharp knife, and get to cutting. It may take a while if you’ve never done it before. Do it though, this is IMPORTANT!

Next we move to a rub. Some people like it wet, or marinade style, some like a dry rub. I’m a dry rub type of guy. You won’t get quite the flavor penetration that you would get from a wet rub, but you will get a better crust on the ribs. Plus, if done right, the flavor of the ribs will be good enough. On these ribs below, I have a combination: salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder, cumin, cayenne pepper, and cinnamon. Don’t worry about the cinnamon, it will not make your BBQ sweet. It helps to balance flavors, and you’ll see it used in a lot of dry rub recipes. Cumin is also very important as is has a great smoky flavor. On that note, buy good Cumin, don’t let the temptation to get the cheap ass Kroger stuff get to you. Good Garlic Powder may not be a lot better that the crappy stuff, but good cumin is WAAYYY better than the crappy stuff. Anyways, below is what we’re looking at.

Let this sit overnight. Take them out of the fridge the next day, and put them into some baking dishes. I have to cut them in half to fit them, but just get them in. I know that I’m using metal , but the ideal baking dish for this is going to be glass or some ceramic. It should also be high enough to completely cover the ribs.

So, loosely chop one medium sized onion, and put in the bottom of the dishes, then put the ribs on top.

Put the dishes in your oven at 300° and here comes the Buddy B style. Pour gingerale (yes gingerale) into each baking dish until the ribs are covered, or you’re at the top. For these two racks, I used almost 2-2L bottles (Vernors I might add).

Let the ribs cook in the oven at 300° for about an hour, then about 250-275° for another 2-2.5 hours. At this point, the end ribs should start to pull away from the bone. We’re not done yet! Take the ribs out, and heat up your outside grill to high, and throw them suckers on meat side down. Take this time to brush on your favorite BBQ sauce (I’m using homemake stuff of course). Let the ribs sear for about 3-4 minutes, turn and repeat.

You have now made some of the most delicious ribs you’ll ever eat. My buddy Joe doesn’t really like ribs, and he ate like a whole rack. I wish I could take pictures with a camera instead of my phone, these really don’t do them justice. Anyways, the BBQ sass is somewhat important, so choose wisely, but most importantly, enjoy!

ARRESTED!!!

Yes, my friend and I were arrested last night. Gay to the max, let me set the stage. We leave the College of Business vs College of Engineering bowling tournament victorious when we arrive at the College of Engineering SPONSORED dance/party in the warehouse section of the school. So, we grab a couple of beers, and I need to use the restroom. We are there for no more than 5 minutes at this point.

So I come out of the bathroom, beer in hand, and all the lights are on, and everyone is huddled in one side of the room. I have no idea what the hell is going on at this point. So, I walk over to Joe and he says that the police are trying to break it up. OK, whatever, we’re of age, no biggie. So, they start sorting people out, above 21 gets to go into the other room.

At this point, I think that they are going to let us continue the party in the other room with the 21+ people. So, we fill our beers, head in line to be carded. The police says beer down, party’s over. OK…so we walk into the other room and there’s beer over there!!! At this point, I’m not thinking, OK, we can finish up our little 21+ shindig, but there will be no music, no craziness. So I pour a beer for Joe and I and wait.

We’re waiting for a few minutes and decide that this is gay. We start to walk off, beers in hand, when this other cop says that we have to stay here. OK…super gay. So the main cop guy comes back in, says everyone leave. As we finish our beers he says hands behind your backs, I said the party was over.

That’s it. Nothing more than that happened.

At this point, I’m pretty pissed off now, I’m wasting my entire Saturday night. So, I try to ask the cop why there was beer over there. He gives me some bullshit answer. I then ask him if I can ask another question, to which he replies no. Awesome. I say, “I can’t, as a civilian ask a law enforcement officer a simple question?” “Nope.” Great.

So, we wait in a room while they give out like 15 underage drinking violations to all these kids. Finally when they get through more than a dozen of these guys, they take care of us two. We didn’t get outta the police station till after 3am.  The violation: Disorderly Conduct while Intoxicated. Bullshit. My court date is March 5, I will be using the Student Legal Services, I will fill you in on how it goes. Oh yea, here’s a picture showing how much handcuffs suck by the way. Click the picture to see full size.

Wrist Herpes

This is Joe’s wrist herpes. Yea, it looks pretty nasty. You mostly get wrist herpes when you’re wrist deep in a Brazilian transvestites ass. You’ll get it everytime.

click to enlarge

Ace and Dutch

Sorry for the delay, but click the logo to see the goods.

Tuesday

Going in to help teach high school tomorrow. Going to try and not go to jail for statutory rape.

More importantly, an all new Ace and Dutch tomorrow. Tomorrow’s episode: The Sigs throw a party.

Interview Tips

Well, it’s almost that time. I’m about to get the Master’s degree, and need to start finding a job. That means its a perfect time to review the Cockflavored Interviewing Tips. What should you listen to me? Basically I’ve gotten every job that I’ve gotten an interview for. Except one. I walked out on that one. Asshole.

Anyways, in no particular order, here are my tips for you, on how to land that sweet position.

• Know your Resume – This goes hand in hand with keeping it updated. You shouldn’t have anything on there that happened prior to college; they don’t give a shit that you were in NHS in high school. Know in particular the job responsibilities that you have listed under your experience section. They will typically ask you more on what you did at prior jobs.
• Know your Role – The company doesn’t need you. Remember this. There are hundreds of other yous out there. Don’t get cocky and start asking why you should want to work there.
• Know your Wants – This goes hand in hand with Knowing your Role. You don’t want to get cocky, but do ask questions that affirm your desire to get that position. What are the opportunities for advancement? How are the benefits? There are a myriad of questions that you can ask that do not conflict with Knowing your Role.
• Know your Weaknesses
• Know your Weaknesses
• Know your Weaknesses – I cannot stress how important it is to have this question prepared. If you are going in for a professional interview, this question is coming, so don’t be surprised when it does. Have three ready, and don’t lie. DO NOT SAY: I’m way to much of a perfectionist, so I judge people around me too harshly. DO NOT SAY: I can’t really think of anything that I’m bad at.
  • One of my weaknesses is elementary tasks. So I say something like: “I have a problem with simple, busy tasks. But, this is part of the reason that I stayed to get my Master’s degree. I want to be challenged with problems the average person can’t solve. Difficult problems drive me to my potential and are something that I feel I need in my career.”

Do, you can’t necessarily turn any weakness into a strength, but have legitimate answers ready.

• Know the Truf – Do not lie. The interviewer does his job for a living, and he’ll be able to tell bullshit from the truth. Telling the truth is a double whammy for you. Not only will lying kill your chances for a job, but being completely honest will give the interviewer a more sincere, genuine feel from you.
• Know the Look – This is your career prom. If you do it right, you’ll be fucking the prom queen, if not, you’ll be at a gay after prom with your buddies drinking Hawaiian Punch. What am I getting at? Dress to impress and present yourself as professionally as you can. Wear your nicest suit. Hell wear the same shirt and tie to every interview if it looks the nicest. Be clean shaven and smell nice. This should go without saying, but you’d be surprised.
• Know Thyself – Ultimately the interviewer want to see who you are, hows your personality, will you be good working with others. Be yourself, have fun, make jokes. If you can the interview into a more casual conversation, then you are in like a dirty shirt.
• Know What’s Next – At the conclusion of the interview, get a business card and be very sincerely thankful for the opportunity to interview. Remember that they don’t need you. Also, make sure to send a nicely written thank you email to the interviewer. Be hesitant about writing a thank you card, because you’d feel like a real ass if they made their decision before the card arrived. Not only will the thank you up your personality grade, but it puts your name in the interviewers head again. Ca…stan…za.

Interviewing is not hard. Be relaxed. The hard part is getting the interview. Your resume has proven your worth as a potential employee. They just want to get to know you a little. Good luck.

Ace and Dutch

It’s finally here Click the logo to see the goods. In the first episode, Ace and Dutch have to deal with new pledges not being of high enough quality.

Quote of the Day

I hope it warms up soon…I can’t wait to trim my winter bush.

Recipe – Jalepeno Chicken Fajitas

(as always, click the pictures for a better image)

This is my world famous recipe for chicken fajitas. Now chicken fajitas are nothing special, and in fact the fajitas here are nothing special, the special part is the chicken. As with any grilling, the key to great meat is marination. One must first think of what a marinade is. First, it’s some sort of oil or fat, usually vegetable or olive oil. The oil is meant to make the flavor “taste” moist. The next part to the marinade is an acid; usually either vinegar or a citrus juice. This helps the meat stay soft and helps to tenderize it. The next part is simply flavoring.

The secret here is in the marinade, everything else is obvious. So, I first take the chicken, throw it in whatever, and pour a little bit of good extra virgin olive oil. If you’re a poker, poke the chicken here (I’m a poker myself). Add salt and pepper. The next step is pickled jalepeno juice.

Add the juice from a jar of jalepenos. Think of what this stuff is. It’s basically vinegar that has been flavored by the jalepenos. It with the oil will work perfectly as a marinade. I then add the spices. The important ones are Paprika, Chili Powder, Cumin, and Cayenne Pepper, in about a 5:2:1:1 ratio until you have something that looks like this. For this batch (4 breasts), I used about 2 tablespoons of paprika I think.

Let this sit overnight if possible, although I’ve made it work on as little as 4 hours. Then grill as you normally would. I won’t give a grilling lesson here, but just take note that the meat will look underdone. This is just because it’s so juicy. Use a thermometer if you’re unsure. Trust me. Get some nice grill marks, and pull off.

Let the meat rest for a few minutes while you grill the tortillas. Yes, grill the tortillas, it makes them that much better. Then, only cut what you need. Once you cut the meat, it will start to dry out, so if you’re not going to use it, don’t cut it. Cut and serve with the traditional fajita fixins. Enjoy