Interview Tips

Well, it’s almost that time. I’m about to get the Master’s degree, and need to start finding a job. That means its a perfect time to review the Cockflavored Interviewing Tips. What should you listen to me? Basically I’ve gotten every job that I’ve gotten an interview for. Except one. I walked out on that one. Asshole.

Anyways, in no particular order, here are my tips for you, on how to land that sweet position.

• Know your Resume – This goes hand in hand with keeping it updated. You shouldn’t have anything on there that happened prior to college; they don’t give a shit that you were in NHS in high school. Know in particular the job responsibilities that you have listed under your experience section. They will typically ask you more on what you did at prior jobs.
• Know your Role – The company doesn’t need you. Remember this. There are hundreds of other yous out there. Don’t get cocky and start asking why you should want to work there.
• Know your Wants – This goes hand in hand with Knowing your Role. You don’t want to get cocky, but do ask questions that affirm your desire to get that position. What are the opportunities for advancement? How are the benefits? There are a myriad of questions that you can ask that do not conflict with Knowing your Role.
• Know your Weaknesses
• Know your Weaknesses
• Know your Weaknesses – I cannot stress how important it is to have this question prepared. If you are going in for a professional interview, this question is coming, so don’t be surprised when it does. Have three ready, and don’t lie. DO NOT SAY: I’m way to much of a perfectionist, so I judge people around me too harshly. DO NOT SAY: I can’t really think of anything that I’m bad at.
  • One of my weaknesses is elementary tasks. So I say something like: “I have a problem with simple, busy tasks. But, this is part of the reason that I stayed to get my Master’s degree. I want to be challenged with problems the average person can’t solve. Difficult problems drive me to my potential and are something that I feel I need in my career.”

Do, you can’t necessarily turn any weakness into a strength, but have legitimate answers ready.

• Know the Truf – Do not lie. The interviewer does his job for a living, and he’ll be able to tell bullshit from the truth. Telling the truth is a double whammy for you. Not only will lying kill your chances for a job, but being completely honest will give the interviewer a more sincere, genuine feel from you.
• Know the Look – This is your career prom. If you do it right, you’ll be fucking the prom queen, if not, you’ll be at a gay after prom with your buddies drinking Hawaiian Punch. What am I getting at? Dress to impress and present yourself as professionally as you can. Wear your nicest suit. Hell wear the same shirt and tie to every interview if it looks the nicest. Be clean shaven and smell nice. This should go without saying, but you’d be surprised.
• Know Thyself – Ultimately the interviewer want to see who you are, hows your personality, will you be good working with others. Be yourself, have fun, make jokes. If you can the interview into a more casual conversation, then you are in like a dirty shirt.
• Know What’s Next – At the conclusion of the interview, get a business card and be very sincerely thankful for the opportunity to interview. Remember that they don’t need you. Also, make sure to send a nicely written thank you email to the interviewer. Be hesitant about writing a thank you card, because you’d feel like a real ass if they made their decision before the card arrived. Not only will the thank you up your personality grade, but it puts your name in the interviewers head again. Ca…stan…za.

Interviewing is not hard. Be relaxed. The hard part is getting the interview. Your resume has proven your worth as a potential employee. They just want to get to know you a little. Good luck.