1 Hour…2 Men…20 Beers

This is it folks, the epitome of stupid drinking. This video is Joe and I both doing 10 beer power hours. If you recall, a standard power hour is taking a 1oz shot of beer every minute, which ends up being 5 beers. We double it.

Review – The Brave One

Starring: Jodie Foster, Terrence Howard

Overall:  C

If you’ve seen the movie, this is another vigilante movie. Remember the Punisher, and then that crappy looking movie that just came out with Kevin Bacon.

Anyways, in the movie, Foster plays a radio host whose fiance is murdered in front of her. 3 weeks later after she gets out of the coma, she undergoes a transformation and becomes a killer; a killer determined to wipe away bad people (think Boondock Saints).

So, right on her trail is this crafty detective, played by Howard. Somehow, over a half-dozen conversations over crimes, they fall in love.

SPOILER: end of the movie, Howard eventually helps Foster cover up her final crime, killing those who murdered her dude.

The movie wasn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen. I certainly appreciate at least the somewhat realistic transformation from her before and after. It’s not like these other movies where a seemingly normal person undergoes mental trauma, and suddenly becomes a fucking superhero. I get tired of that.

However, the love side plot was not well done, and was not believable at all. This is DEFINITELY a rent, and then only if there’s nothing else.

Yes, I’ll make it quick…tomorrow, my secret Jalepeno chicken fajitas recipe.

Girls – This is why you wear clothes that fit you

Not three sizes too small to make yourself feel better. (per Katy)

The story is just that I was sitting down with good friends for some food/beers, when all of a sudden I’m blinding by huge ass. Trust me, the pictures do NOT do this ass justice. It was out and proud all night. The chick kept pulling it up, which is when Katy made the title comment. *shudder*

‘Holy Shit That’s Good’ Sausage-Beef Chili

OK, I’ve been doing the chili thing for a while now, and I’ve pretty much got it down. This chili is a meaty man-like chili that will leave all satisfied. So, even if you think you know how to make chili, follow along and you’ll learn some good tips. Here’s what you need:

1 lb – ground chuck
2 links (~.6 lb) – Andouille Sausage
1/2 lb – ground hot sausage
1-2 – medium onions
1-2 – medium green bell pepper
1 tbsp (3ish) cloves – garlic
2 28oz cans – DICED tomatoes
2 12?oz cans – red kidney beans
good dark beer
spices

We start with the meat. Throw all the meat into a pot while we cut up the veggies. It’s important to use chuck because it has a high fat content that will help to cook the rest of the meat. If you are unfamiliar with Andouille sausage, it’s pretty much the king of sausage. It’s very common in cajun cooking, and is the prime ingredient in many gumbos/jambalaya. I also like to throw in some spicy ground sausage for an extra kick.

While we SLOWLY cook the meat, cut up the veggies. It’s chili so it doesn’t have to be real neat or small. In fact, I like my chunks somewhat big. So throw the veggies into the pot with some chili powder, a little cayenne, and some ground cumin. Maybe a 4:1:1 ratio. Don’t overdo it; you can add more later. After the veggies/spices, add the garlic. Use fresh if you can, although most of the time I just use jarred minced garlic.

Now the important part. Many people leave out an all important step, and it ruins the chili. Let me bold this for you. You must add some other liquid besides the tomatoes or you’ll chili will taste like crappy goulash.

Some people add water (weak), some add beef broth; we can do better. At this point, add your favorite dark beer thats in season. I normally use Sam Adams Cream Stout. Don’t use anything fruity, but like I need to tell you that. At this point, you can even add a little red wine if you’d like. Again, go dark/heavy. This batch, I used a little Pacific Estates Cab Sav, maybe 1/2 cup. Again, this is one of the most important parts. You should have something like this:

enlarge the pic

Let this bad boy simmer for as long as you can. As it does, the meat will pick up all that delicious flavor from the beer. When you’re ready add the DICED tomatoes. At this point, I’ll rant again. Do not use Crushed tomatoes. I don’t care who told you, don’t. That’s it. Trust me, I’ve used both, diced is BY FAR the way to go. I take thank you’s in the form of blow jobs and rusty trombones.

Now, you need to let this simmer for as long as you can. The longer you do, the better the chili. At the very minimum it needs to simmer for 1.5 hours, I prefer around 3…seriously. It just gets better. About 15 minutes before you plan to serve, strain and rinse the beans, and toss them in. Note that adding the beans will thicken the chili up a little bit. The beans give off a little starch which will bring it all together.

Now taste and reseason. It will probably need some black pepper, and more than likely some more chili powder. If you’re me, it will need some hot sauce and more cayenne as well. Serve with a dollop of sour cream, more hot sauce, and cheese if needed. Fresh made bread should accompany as well.

Abercrombie and Fitch – EDIT!!

Yea, I stopped in the store the other day. Don’t worry, I made sure my collar was popped before I went down that wing of the mall. Anyways, I snapped a shot of a poster I seen there. Then I tried to recreate that poster using myself and some mad photoshop skills. I bet you can’t even tell which one is which.

Of course clicking will give you a larger pic

edit: OK, so check out this news article HERE. I’ll highlight the good shit:

Police confiscated two display photos of scantily clad men and a woman from an Abercrombie & Fitch store and cited the manager on a misdemeanor  obscenity charge

One photograph showed three shirtless young men, with one man’s upper buttocks showing. The other image was of a woman whose breast was mostly exposed, authorities said.

THIS IS THE POSTER!!! This is the lewd poster that they are talking about. Wow, is this not intense. I wonder if they would have been sued had my ass been on the wall instead.

My thoughts…probably not.

Arlen Specter – All American Fag – Update

UPDATE – Toledo Blade sports columnist put it very well when he said:

An aside, if you will. Specter is hinting at a congressional investigation. Last time I checked, our lawmakers are dealing with an economic bail-out to prevent us falling further into recession and to try and quell the mortgage crisis in the banking and housing industries. For a supposedly enlightened society, we face astounding challenges in health care and education. And, then, there’s that little dust-up over in Iraq. Our lawmakers might want to keep their priorities straight. Belichick and the Patriots didn’t violate any laws, just the NFL’s rules. So, Senator, get lost.

My quote is not so classy.

Arlen Specter is a Pennsylvanian Republican senator who is being a major fucking douchebag. He wants to know why NFL commissioner Roger Goodell destroyed the infamous “Spygate” videos. This vaginal secretion says:

The American people are entitled to be sure about the integrity of the game. It’s analogous to the CIA destruction of tapes, or any time you have records destroyed.

WHAT?!?! Analogous to the CIA destroying tapes? Are you out of your mind. Is your mind as fucked as your face is looking?

OK, down to business. You’re in the congress, and I right? Why are you even thinking about football?? We don’t fucking pay you to worry about goddamn football. Go worry about why your constituents can’t find jobs, breath polluted air, drive on broken highways. Worry about the fucking crime. Worry about education.

DON’T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT SHIT THAT ISN’T YOURS TO DEAL WITH JUST SO YOU CAN GET YOUR FUCKED UP, SCRAGGLY-LOOKING, BIG-ASS NOSED, DUMBO-SIZED EARED, AIRPORT TARMAC FOREHEADED, BRITISH-TOOTHED, RAT-NEST HAIRED FUCKING HEAD ON TV.

You are the HEAD of the Senate Judiciary Committee, and this is the best that you can do. No wonder we have no faith in our governement.

ASSHOLE.

Oh yea, Goodell saying that he wanted them destroyed so they could never be used again wasn’t enough. This dickhead is calling him in so the entire fucking Judiciary Committee can hear Goodell testify. Holy fucking tax dollars that you don’t give a shit about.

A Cockflavored Update

Well, I haven’t posted anything in a few days. Mostly cause of the death-like illness that befell me. Because of this, I haven’t had a drink…a real drink in days. I’m thirsty…

That’s about all I have for you.

Current Super Bowl Menu:

Pickle-Wraps
Beer
Wings maybe  for afternoon appetizer
Ribs
Beer
Cornbread
Green Beans
Beer