cornjockey – Dead to the World

Not sure why I took this video, but this is Josh, i.e. cornjockey doing the chicken dance at his wedding this past weekend. Sorry about the sound, yes it was loud.

Oh, and when I say, “So gay,” I’m not referring to the dancing, which is completely atrocious, rather the fact that he got married, enjoy.

Mother Fucking Frog with a Tail, Holy Shit

Mother fucking frogs with tails braugh. God damn we live in a weird world where fucking frogs can go around with tails freaking the shit out of anyone golfing. Shit

Show Some Pride In Your Ride

OE sent me this from Texas. Only one problem, there’s no car in this picture.

p.s. I can see your shadow taking a picture, but I still can’t see what of. Fuck

Show Some Pride In Your Ride

As someone who once owned a Probe, this is disgusting.

No, I will not blur out your license plate you fucking tool.

The downfall of the American auto industry…

This is a long one, so get comfortable. (Cliffnotes at bottom)

Ever wonder what it’s like in a UAW run plant? That is not a mistake, the UAW are the ones that actually run these places. If you want something done you have to go through them. This is much like the mafia.

Suppose you were a manager at one of these plants, and you want to make up some lost production because of a machine that was down for a shift. Well, this would be very difficult for you because, first of all machines are not down for just a shift. A 2 hour job in a UAW plant actually takes 2 whole shifts, but hypothetically lets just say you wanted to make up that production. The machine operators can’t produce more parts than normal because that would make the other shifts look bad and they have to watch out for each other. Plus, why let management know that you are capable of doing more than the bare minimum. Otherwise, you’d have to actually earn your 100k. It’s not like you can get fired.

Let me take you on a trip into a typical UAW plant: (Keep in mind that the company called me to come fix a problem that they were having with some equipment)

I arrive to do what I assumed would be a pretty quick fix. Typically a job like this would take, at most, 6 hours. It’s 7:30 and I go in to meet with the electrician to get some background on the problem. We discuss it for about 30 minutes. He tells me that I will be working with the millwright to get the job done.

cornjockey: “So, where is the millwright?”

Electrician: “Oh, the boss has a meeting every day from 8 to 9 so no one does any work till 9.”

So around 9:05 or so the millwright shows up.

cornjockey: “I think I know exactly what we need to do. Are you ready to get started?”

Millwright: “Well, no. Break is in 10 minutes and I need to go get ready for break.”

cornjockey: “I thought you just took a break?”

Millwright: “No that wasn’t the real break. Break starts at 9:15 and I have to go put some sausages on the so they’ll be ready in time.”

cornjockey: “Okay, then what time is break over?”

Millwright: “9:30.”

So I wait.

Remember: I can’t touch anything or someone might find out that I know how to fix it and that I work for less. (Even though they called me in to fix the problem).

During break, a guy comes to ask the electrician to heat one of the furnaces up, because he brought in 10lbs of chicken for lunch. At this point I think that they are just fucking with me and I start laughing. Apparently, though, they have been doing this for years. Later I saw them put the chicken in the furnace. A few days later I saw them put [dirty, oily] parts in the same furnace.

At 10:00 the millwright returns.

We go over the the equipment and I begin to hook up some gas analyzing equipment and take measurements. This invovles connecting a hose and opening a valve.

Millwright (from here on MW): “Hey” and this next part is absolutely true “you can’t touch that valve”

cornjockey (from now on CJ): “Why not?”

MW: “Well, you’re not here to take peoples jobs”

So we finish the test and it turns out we need to replace a valve. MW didn’t bring any tools and has to go back and get a wrench. It’s 10:45 or so.

In 15 minutes MW comes back with a (one, as in not the whole toolbox) wrench. He did not bring the part that we had to replace. That was another 15-20 minutes. Keep in mind that MW has a golf cart thing and that the total travel time to get to the maintenace area is one minute.

By this time it’s 11:20, and in the middle of replacing this valve (5 min job) he says:

MW: “I’ll have to finish this after lunch”

CJ: “What time is lunch?”

MW: “11:30 to 12:30″

CJ: “It’s 11:25 can you just finish this?”

MW (already walking away): “No”

Okay, so I go and grab a bite to eat. I get back right at 12:30 and go straight to the equipment. The valve is still not installed so I know he has not been there yet. He shows up at 1.

He finishes installing the valve and we try the test again.

CJ: “Okay, we need to… (I’ll spare you the boring details)”

MW: “How long will that take because break is at 1:30″

Who has a break a half an hour after they finish lunch? That’s what I was thinking.

We can’t do it in 10 minutes, so he goes on his “15 minute which is really however long he wants to take as long as it’s at least 25 minutes” break.

He comes back with no tools again and each time he needs a tool, he goes on a 15 minute trip for one tool at a time.

At 3:00 its time to get ready to go home. Quitting time is 3:30.

So in an 8 hour day (he came in at 6:30) at $35/hr, he did about 30-40 minutes of actual work. The quick one day fix that I came for took 2 weeks.

Cliffnotes: UAW = biggest wasters of money in the world.

My next artilce will talk about how, despite all of this, we should still buy American.

Show Some Pride In Your Ride

This comes to us from OE in Texas. It kind of reminds me of a mullet…business in the front and party in the back. Only here, the party is balls.

Grinds My Gears

Fucking Phone Menus