NCAA Football Week 9 – Lessons Learned

This last week of the NCAA football season was one of the best I can remember in recent years. We’ve had plenty of “Showdown” Saturdays, but few lived up to the excitement that was 10/23/2010. What was learned? Let’s find out.

Oregon

The Ducks delivered another huge win Thursday night over a perennially-weak UCLA team. UCLA is currently ranked behind Notre Dame by math-whiz Jeff Sagarin, meaning this loss. . . is meaningless. In fact, Oregon’s schedule currently includes only a single win against a ranked team, albeit it was an impressive win against Stanford. If they win out against Arizona and Oregon State they deserve a National Championship shot.

Oklahoma

Unless you’ve been under a rock, you’ll know that OU was the third straight team to fall from the #1 spot. Looking at their schedule, sure they have good wins against Florida State and Texas, but. . . 7 pt victory against Utah State? 3 pt win against Air Force? This is not the resume of a #1 team. The jury is still out on Texas and Florida State in my opinion, too. To sum up,

They are. . . not. . .who we thought they were.

Missouri

Oh Jeff Sagarin. . . you have Missouri #1 in your ELO_CHESS, the ranking the BCS uses. They have wins over #1 Oklahoma who. . . see above. Aside from that, their best win is literally a 10 pt win against Illinois. That’s OK, you have a probable loss in Lincoln this coming week.

Notre Dame

They ARE, who we thought they were.

Ah, I love it.

Aurburn

OK, so Cam Newton sucks at passing, and the Tiger coaching staff has realized it. No longer are they even trying to throw. They’re Denard Robinson’ing it. As such, they’ve been dominate. Teams have realized over the last couple years that if you plan for the QB running, you get an extra blocker.

Their offense has been nearly unstoppable, and their defense has shown the ability to make enough stops.

Unfortunately, they play their last game against #7 Alabama, meaning they could both go 1-loss and get snubbed, despite a much “resume”.

Obama and Xzibit

The newest graphical satire from the creators here at Cockflavored. Enjoy.

My Balls

So, I had to go to the hospital today. You know it’s for real because, well I have no health insurance. Needless to say, the trip will cost at least what I was planning on spending on that new couch. Looks like it’s dining room tables for another couple of months.

Either way, I woke up with just an odd feeling in my left ball. It was…just uncomfortable. I was going to ignore it, so I proceeded to get ready for work. As I’m driving to work, one of my worst fears sets in: Testicular Torsion. Torsion occurs when one of the little guys rotates inside of the sack. This typically cuts off blood supply and the little dude dies usually within 6 hours. Now, it’s often associated with vomit-inducing pain, but not always. Was this a “minor” case of it? Only slightly twisted. When I was feeling around, it didn’t seem like they were parallel.

At this point, I start getting nervous, nervous to the point of nausea. I had to do something. I called a few Urologists, but they all said that if it could be torsion, that I needed to go to the ER. Fuck me.

So, I went in. Usually when I pay someone to fondle my balls, it’s fairly cheap and only takes an hour or so. This whole process took 6 hours! Holy shit man. Didn’t even get to enjoy my day off of work. I had to get an ultrasound to confirm, and hours later: hydrocele.

Basically, it’s a small liquid sack, in my individual ballsack, of course located inside of the main ball sack. Yea, apparently there are several mini-sacks for each nut. Either way, the pocket of liquid was causing swelling, which is what caused the slight discomfort and the “misalignment”.

It’s something that I need to follow up with a Urologist, but that can wait until I have some insurance. What a day.